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Chatty Cathy!

Hrmmm. I'm pretty chatty today. Oh well. It's a Friday.

I seem to have a somewhat obsessive personality. Which I really dislike, since it often makes me do and feel things I'd rather not. The most common way this manifests itself is in my dislike for uncleanliness and disorder. It's not just that I dislike them. It has a physiological effect, too. I get tense. The muscles in my shoulders tighten. I get agitated. It doesn't always happen and sometimes I wonder if it's either selective or I've just learned to deal with the mess around me. I also get obsessed about other stuff. Like when someone doesn't write me back. I wonder why. I obsess about it and make up reasons. I know I'm being foolish and I can tell myself I am, but I can't stop feeling that way and it really gets out of hand. It really has a great emotional effect. I wish there were something I could do about it.

This is one of the many reasons I refuse to drink alcohol. I don't really have many moral or ethical reasons for it. I do dislike the taste of what little I've tried. I also dislike how stupid some people are about it. And there are other reasons. And, for some inexplicable reason, I'll often get amazingly upset when friends of mine drink. Though not always. Sometimes I think it's hilarious. But as for the obsession thing... I just get worried that I'd find some kind of alcoholic beverage I really like the taste of... or I'll drink enough some time that I actually feel the effects and I'll like them a lot... and I won't be able to stop. I can see it happening VERY easily. Sarah occasionally gets fruity/minty/chocolatey concoctions when we go out and she tries to get me to take a sip, but I just won't. It just doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

Of course, everyone who's reading this probably thinks I'm a freak now. :) But, since the small handful of people who actually read this ever already KNOW I'm a freak, that's O.K. :)

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on October 5, 2001 11:16 AM.

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