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He's too... shy shy...

I pretty much hated high school. Loathed it, really. Junior high, too. Honestly, at this point, I can't quite remember a time when I liked school. I know there was a time, way back when, when I loved to learn and that made school worthwhile. But then everything else stole that from me. I was a geek, I'll admit. No pocket protector or anything like that, but I wasn't far off. Being shy didn't help, either. I was picked on quite a lot and never felt like I fit into any group, really. I always tried to rationalize that I was better than all of them and everything would turn out fine in the end. But I wasn't and it didn't. I just ended up missing out on things. I never went to my prom. A girl actually asked me, too, though I've never figured out if she was being serious. I said no, rudely, figuring that she wasn't being serious, embarassed because she'd asked in front of other people. I've missed out on far too many things, especially because of the shyness. It didn't get much better in college, though I found a few people I could actually relate to and like. But I generally hated it, too. Partially because many of the people truly were bastards but also because I know I missed out on things I could've enjoyed. And I still regret all of it. Letting go of the past is something I've never gotten the hang of.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on August 21, 2001 1:02 PM.

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